a woman took a zoom call in the sauna

I just got back from a spa vacation and I have a bone to pick.

Not with you, Reader. With sauna culture.

With whatever silent agreement we all apparently did NOT make about how to behave inside a small hot wooden box.

Let me set the scene….

The Omni came highly recommended. Everyone raved. I walked in expecting deep exhales and dim lighting and the kind of quiet that lets your whole nervous system finally unclench.

Instead? It was so loud I couldn't relax the entire time.

The whole spa. Not just the sauna. The place that was supposed to be my reset — and I was getting more wound up than when I walked in.

I finally locked myself in the quiet room and ditched the sauna, steam room, and hot tub all together.

And here's the thing. This isn't a one-off.

I sauna a lot.

Different cities, different gyms — I split my time between Reno and Seattle at this point in time, so I've sat in a lot of saunas. And I have been contemplating the noise, the etiquette, and what’s appropriate for months now.

This is not a "my gym is bad" situation. This is everywhere.

A short highlight reel of what I've personally witnessed:

• A woman who took a full Zoom call. In the sauna. Camera on, talking business, like it was a conference room with a heat setting.

• Two friends who get together and gab at full volume the entire time, like the rest of us aren't RIGHT there, sweating in silence. They do this before work several mornings a week.

• And just today — a woman watching videos. No headphones. Just tiny phone audio bouncing off the walls while my meditation timer is running.

And somewhere in that moment, sweating and mildly unhinged, I thought: that's it. I'm writing the email.

Because I've been sitting on this question for too long, in too many saunas, in too many cities. Today was the tipping point.

I go to the sauna to be quiet.

To meditate. To sit in the heat and let my mind go still and drop into my body for ten uninterrupted minutes. It's not a small thing for me. It's one of the few places I let myself do nothing.

So when someone turns it into their living room, something in me goes feral.

But okay. Real talk. Here's where I get honest.

I don't actually know if I'm right.

Logically? I think I'm right. It feels obvious. Small hot quiet box, everyone's trying to relax, read the room.

But based on the sheer volume of evidence — the Zoom calls, the gabbing, the headphone-free scrolling — I'm starting to think I have to be wrong. Because if this many people are doing it, in this many places, across three states… maybe I'm the one who missed the memo?

Maybe silence is my preference and not a universal rule. Maybe I'm the uptight one glaring from the corner while everyone else enjoys their fully loud, social sauna experience.

I genuinely don't know where the line is. And it's been living in my head for months.

So I’ve gotta know….

What are the rules? Am I alone in this? Does anyone else care about this as deeply as I do?

Here’s the thing I’ve realized while writing this email.

It's not really about the sauna.

It's about that feeling of being SO sure of something inside your own body — this doesn't feel right to me — and having zero idea if you're allowed to trust it. Wondering if you're being reasonable or ridiculous. Wanting someone to just tell you.

That exact feeling? That's the one I sit in with clients almost every week.

Not about saunas. About prices. About who to hire. About the stories they tell themselves about not being ready. About the ceiling they can feel but can't name.

They come in going something is off and I don't know if I'm right.

And here's what coaching actually does — and it's not what people think…

I don't hand you the answer.

Spoiler: I don’t even have the answer.

I'm just creating the room where you get quiet enough to hear what was already true for you, and then trust it enough to move on it.

The clarity was always yours. You just needed a place to think out loud until it surfaced.

Kind of like this email, honestly. I got clearer just writing it to you.💡

So here's my ask.

Hit reply and give me your verdict. Is the sauna a silent space or am I the villain? What's the wildest thing you've witnessed in one? I want the full public consensus and I want it from the people I know and trust— which is you.

I read these. And I'll report back.

Talk soon,

P.S. Speaking of thinking out loud until things get clear — I have ONE 1:1 coaching spot left for the year. It's for the person who can feel something's off in her business and is done trying to strategy-her-way around it. If that's the pull you've been feeling, reply "one spot" and I'll send you the details before it's gone. 💚